Stuff Psycho People Like

Bring miniature porcelain infants with you everywhere. Interact with them as often as possible, as if they were a standard size porcelain infant.  When you are depositing money at the bank, approach the teller quietly and when you are face to face, whisper:

“Quiet.  The baby is sleeping.”

She’ll give an awkward giggle at first, but as you continue staring deeply into her eyes while stroking the baby’s thin, wispy hair, her awkwardness will turn to fear, and that’s when you mutter:

“He’s do for a bath.”

At this point the branch manager will approach you, and say “Sir, can I help you?”  This is when you slowly exit the bank, for you didn’t have a deposit to make anyway.

Optional: Hiss violently at the people waiting in line behind you on the way out.  Works every time.

Tags: insect machine, prancing, the seventh seal of hell, Toblerone