Stuff Psycho People Like

Clam, vegetable, and corn chowder are the staple meal for anyone who has the guts to call themselves a psycho.  Reason #1: chowder is universally available.  I challenge you to go to any restaurant in the U.S./Nova Scotia and find a menu that doesn’t have a hearty chowder available.  If you find yourself in an establishment that doesn’t have a chowder on tap, then that place is run by the government and you’ve fallen prey to their vast conspiracy to deprive their constituents of the vital food stuffs needed for critical thinking.  When this happens, be calm.  Slowly rise from your booth, and when the waitress asks where you are going, tell her you just remembered that the army surplus store down the block is having a sale on canteens that ends in 35 minutes, but you’ll be back.  Then run out the door and down the block to the army surplus store to get some discounted canteens, go home, fill them up with 7 of the 214 cans of the chowder you keep in your kitchen pantry, and go back to the vicinity of the restaurant.  Hide behind a tree until it closes for the night.  Once the coast is clear, climb on the roof and sneak in through an air vent.  Go to the office and find the employee files (2nd drawer in the grey file cabinet), and get your waitresses home address.  Go to her residence and put all the chowder filled canteens in her mailbox with a note that simply reads “THINK.”  If you have a few extra minutes, write the note in Ox blood.

Mission fucking accomplished.

Tags: gladiators, Laura Ingalls Wilder, poot!, The Patriot Act