Stuff Psycho People Like

Regular people are always talking about bark carvings. “Oh, you gotta see this bark carving” or “Check out this bark carving” or “Bark carving.” But what KIND of bark carvings are they talking about? Do you know?! NO YOU DON’T! Because they lack specifics. And as psycho people know, specifics are everything, particularly when it comes to wood carvings. The Wood Spirit Bark Carvings tell stories. Stories of the forest, and all the amazing power it wields. Try getting that from some pussy ass grizzly bear wood carving. Good luck. All those little bastards want to talk about is honey or some shit. Boring. As. Fuck. While regular people might choose to waste their time on that, psycho people prefer tapping into the raw energy-passion of the Wood, summonsing the spirits of the forest family, with which they can go back to the real world with a sense of mindless destruction. Or whatever. So next time you find yourself driving down the 1 freeway in California near Big Sur and come across one of them wood carving joints, go straight for the Wood Spirit Bark Carvings. Heed the wizards tales. Then, buy a few, tip nicely, set the place on fire, ditch your car off the highway and sleep in the wilderness for up to and including 6 years, subsisting on tree sap and anger.

Tags: bread brine, gravel hutch, mental tapestry, The Wiggles